Thursday, December 10, 2009

I think at this time of year everybody seems to reflect on the past year. I know I have been thinking alot about this year and everything that has happened and I feel so thankful and blessed by all that has happened this past year. It has been crazy since January, that is when I knew I was pregnant, but for some reason I didn't tell anybody until the end of March. Looking back I wonder if it was so I could just enjoy being pregnant, because two weeks after we announced our news things changed. We were on one crazy roller coaster ride from April to September. But I am honestly thankful for it all. The other day on my Facebook I posted that I was content with my life for the first time in a while, and I am, all of it. I dont look at anything that has happened this year as a negative. Usually when people talk to me they start of with "sorry this happened to you" and my immediate response is "I am not sorry, worse things happen." I truly believe that, because from my perspective nothing bad happened! In all reality there is not a medical answer to why Jenna is here, she is nothing short of a miracle! So I feel blessed to have a baby at all- yes she has some problems, but I can handle that! It makes me sick to think that 90% of women abort babies when they find out they have Down Syndrome. I look at Jenna and see straight to Heaven- she has a purpose on this earth and I plan on making sure she gets back to her Father in Heaven.

I have thought alot about the poem Footprints. I love the part where Jesus says that when there was only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you. I literally felt Him carrying me this last year, I have felt His hand on my shoulder pushing me through this. I am amazed by His loving power to raise us up when we feel like quiting or throwing in the towel. He gave me the best blessings of my life. When I pray at night I always thank Him for trusting me with two of his children to raise and bring back to him. I feel so honored to be a mother.

Gavin turned two in August, he is the best little boy! He has so much love in him and loves to share it! He has found a LOVE for Mickey Mouse and Handy Manny. He loves these two characters so much. The other day he was in the kitchen building a house for Micky with Manny's tools. He is creative and bright and is learning new words everyday! Some that we have to tell him are for adults only:) He loves HOKE aka COKE! I didn't let him have pop until he was 18 mos or older, and now he loves it. Not sure if I helped start that addiction or not?? I love him so much I made him promise to take me to prom and also to marry me! He said yes to both!!

Kurt has been an amazing husband through such a crazy year. It was emotional anyway and then to add a pregnant woman to the mix!! I think there are special places in heaven for some men!! He is a great father and husband and I am thankful for him. I guess those 5 years of waiting for him to marry me were worth it!!!

I look forward to this next year and what it might bring our way, we are hoping for a trip to Disneyland! I look forward to Jenna's firsts! She is now a hefty 8.5 pounds and 22 in long. (Gavin was bigger and birth) I love having a family and watching Gavin and Jenna together and feel extremely blessed to have all that I do.

I hope you all have a great Christmas season!


Adam and Dev said...

What a sweet post. You have the right attitude about everything- Jenna is definitely a blessing. Miss seeing you around! Have a great Christmas with your family. :)

The Belnaps said...

Amen! Very well said and you are a great mother.

Katy said...

I love you Tara!!

Jeannie said...

Tara you are such a great person do deal with what ypu have had to and still have a great additude. The lord will bless you and your family! Jenna is a doll!

susiefarns said...

I see it exactly your way. Jenna is a miracle and I still can't wait to meet her. Love and hugs to all of you.

Deby said...

Tara, you know you always amaze me with your strength. You and Kurt have been through so much, more than most people will ever know, and you have had such total optomism through it all! You held others up! You have been blessed with 2 choice spirits and you recognize that role. You are awesome! Jenna is a blessing to all of us and God couldn't have sent a more beautiful spirit to a better home. Gavin in the best. I am so proud of you! I pray next year has a little less stress and you can enjoy being a mom. MOM