I have told my mother-in-law several times that I feel like the 9 months I was pregnant with Jenna and this year after, that I have aged 10 years. I feel like I look in the mirror and see extra lines that should not be there, dark circles under my eyes and a while ago my mother told me that I had a grey hair. Not fun, however, at the same time I feel stronger both mentally and physically, my faith has increased tenfold and the compassion I have learned is indescribable.
As I think about how I have changed with this whole experience the person that I think has changes so much is my little Gavin. I look at him and see a 16 year old in a 3 year olds body. He is not your typical 3 year old. I know that he has felt the changes that we have gone through and gone through some on his own. In a way he has been forced to grow up just a bit. He is talking so well and clear and he is such a big boy. He has so much compassion in that little heart of his that it brings me to tears sometimes. Just an example of how sweet he is to Jenna, everyday when she wakes up from her nap he says Mom I need to hug her and smooch her, then he makes sure to say I am so proud of you Jenna! He loves his sister so much and is always wanting to help and love on her. He knows that Jenna is different and we talk about it openly with him so that he understands. I just love him so much and I am so thankful for his understanding of this situation. I have to remind myself daily that he is only 3 and that it is okay if he makes a mess or spills his juice!
With this crazy world lately and things that have happened in my own ward, I feel very blessed to be a mother and to have these to very special spirits in my home.