Wednesday, September 29, 2010


I have told my mother-in-law several times that I feel like the 9 months I was pregnant with Jenna and this year after, that I have aged 10 years. I feel like I look in the mirror and see extra lines that should not be there, dark circles under my eyes and a while ago my mother told me that I had a grey hair. Not fun, however, at the same time I feel stronger both mentally and physically, my faith has increased tenfold and the compassion I have learned is indescribable.

As I think about how I have changed with this whole experience the person that I think has changes so much is my little Gavin. I look at him and see a 16 year old in a 3 year olds body. He is not your typical 3 year old. I know that he has felt the changes that we have gone through and gone through some on his own. In a way he has been forced to grow up just a bit. He is talking so well and clear and he is such a big boy. He has so much compassion in that little heart of his that it brings me to tears sometimes. Just an example of how sweet he is to Jenna, everyday when she wakes up from her nap he says Mom I need to hug her and smooch her, then he makes sure to say I am so proud of you Jenna! He loves his sister so much and is always wanting to help and love on her. He knows that Jenna is different and we talk about it openly with him so that he understands. I just love him so much and I am so thankful for his understanding of this situation. I have to remind myself daily that he is only 3 and that it is okay if he makes a mess or spills his juice!

With this crazy world lately and things that have happened in my own ward, I feel very blessed to be a mother and to have these to very special spirits in my home.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Jenna turns 1

My sweet baby girl turns 1 today. And I am on the verge of tears! Not because I am sad that she will be one and is growing up, but because I feel so much emotion knowing that a year ago doctors didn't think she would even make it to birth. I know that God intervened in Jenna's life and allowed her to live. I will be forever thankful and in His debt. I truly feel like Jenna is my miracle.

The other night I had a tender moment with her. I was rocking her to sleep and I had just got finished singing the most beautiful and on pitch lullaby to her and the minute I stopped singing she started laughing. And not just a little laugh, it went on for some time! It was funny, but I found myself just crying and rocking her. I just was overwhelmed with the fact that with all she has been through here she was happy as can be laughing in my arms and about to turn 1. I found myself just saying thank you. Thank you God for giving me this angel.

This was the day Jenna was born. September 11, 2009 at 6:48 pm. She was 4 lbs 13 oz. and 17" long.

This was just a few days old, but it shows how small she was.

This is Jenna now. She is now 14 lbs and 28" long.

We love you Jenna and we our so happy you are part of our family.