Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Progress and frustrations!

Well, I haven't posted for a while because we found out something about Jenna that just killed me! When things really get to me or make me feel sad I tend to just hold them in until I am able to deal with them. And that is what I have been doing, learning to deal with things. We found out last week that Jenna's Optic nerve never developed in one of her eyes. When the doctor told me I said okay, so she will just need glasses or surgery to fix it? I was being hopeful. He said that she will never see out of that eye, there is not a fix for it. My heart just broke, after all she has already been through and overcame I just looked at her sweat face and thought for the first time in a while WHY? Why her sight? Out of everything she has, this for some reason was the tip of the iceberg! It took me a lot of tears that night and some prayers to know that this is in her plan- she will overcome it! We will make the best with it.

Other than that Jenna is doing great!! She is such a sweat baby all the nurses just love her! The doctors would like to keep her for at least another week- she needs to gain some weight and also make progress with her feedings. I got frustrated over the weekend because she wasn't doing great with eating, but Monday was much better! She is staying awake more and able try harder. She takes a bottle alot better than the nursing, so we are trying both. She just needs to get bigger and stronger!

Kurt has been sick since Sunday so they wont even let him in the NICU. It has been hard on him not to see her for 3 days. Hopefully he will be getting better soon so that we can work on getting her home together!

Gavin still has no clue where the baby is or why we decided to move in with Grandma Barton. He has done great though, he loves being up here and playing with Grandma when we go to the hospital. He is going to be the best big brother ever!!

Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers and gifts they have been much appreciated! We are so lucky to have such great families and friends, and also the Gospel. What would we do without our faith and prayers???

8 comments:

Amy Rosquist said...

You've got a great attitude about everything. I laughed when I read that about Gavin. I was thinking he has been very well behaved during all this change. Can't wait until all four of you are back.

Katy said...

Love ya sis! You are so amazingly strong through all of this obviously God planned for Gavin to be Jenna's big brother since he is so incredibly kind and loving and sweet! He can help you out so much with everything. You are blessed to have both the children that you do I can't wait to meet Jenna! That little girl has so much heart and so do you!

Deby said...

Tara- I saw your heartbreak the night you found out about Jenna's eyesight and held you in my arms and saw you question why God would allow a little child to suffer so. And then you pulled from the center of your heart and spirit the answer that he is there to ease the suffering, not create it. He will hold Jenna when you can't and he will hold you and Kurt when you need it. He loves your family and knew that you would love Jenna and care for her as he would do. I am touched by Katy's comment about Gavin. What insight! It is so true! He is so tender and kind and will truly bless her life and yours. Much will be learned from Jenna for all of us who watch the way you love her and we all will in turn learn to love more freely. Kurt and you are truly examples to all!

susiefarns said...

Remember to share your burdens and your struggles. We are all here to help you out. Jenna is still a gorgeous baby and has fantastic parents, she couldn't have been blessed more.

Tiffany said...

OOHHH! You are so positive Tara! I am so sorry that you have been recieving all of this shocking news. But, I am so glad that she is a strong willed little girl and fighting with all her might. Our thoughts and prayers are with you guys!

tanya.... said...

My heart is so warm after reading your post and all the coments! I am so blessed to see this miracle in acton and have a constant reminder that he has a plan for all of us. Keep up the positive attitudes and being the strong little family that you are. Thanks again for sharing your miracles with us. Love ya and keep smiling:)

Peterson5 said...

Tara you are so strong and have such a great attitude about everything you have been through and going through. I hope things will keep getting better and you can return home soon.

The Tippetts said...

I just cried when I read this, and then read your mom's post. I am so amazed by your strength and insight. You are amazing. I know that this little girl is such a miracle and special spirit brought here for a purpose. I look up to you more than ever! What an amazing strong woman! Love ya girl!