Poor Jenna Baby!

On the 15th I took Jenna up to Riverton hospital to do another ABR (hearing) test. She is only four months old and has endured so much! I sat for an hour and held my sweet baby while they did the test. They had to put electrodes on her head in 4 spots, tubes down both ears, and also a headband looking thing on her head. The instructions for the test were to keep her awake 3 hours longer and wake her up 3 hours earlier and dont let her sleep the morning of the test. I thought YA RIGHT!! She is a baby!! We did pretty good, but I still didn't think she would sleep. When we got it the room I said a quick prayer to ask my Father in Heaven to help me hold her and comfort her so she would sleep. Minutes later she was sound asleep and so peaceful. I knew I wasn't the only one holding her. I sat and looked at her and thought about all she has been through in her short life and how much pain she might have been in at different times. People say they are amazed by my strength, but I am in awe of hers! She is so strong, what an amazing little spirit!

Her test did not go well, they could not get responses in either of her ears. Devestated is an understatment for how I felt for her. It seems like she can't catch a break. We will be going to Primarys to have an MRI done to see what the structure of her ears is like and to see if hearing aids or cochlear implants would help. I hope that there will be something to give her some hearing.

On a good note we were able to get rid of the Apnea monitor! I was so happy! The oxygen is still here, but she doesn't need it too much. Hopefully soon we can get rid of it!

I want to say Thanks to all of you who follow my blog and are so concerned about Jenna. We feel your prayer and are so thankful for your comments! Jenna is a wonderful baby and I am SO blessed to be a part of her life.

A couple of weekends ago we decided to go to St. George for the night. I just needed to get out of town! We stayed at the Abby Inn and Gavin LOVED it!! He was so excited about the big bed and the elevator! He took his new suitcase from Santa, and looked like such a big boy pulling it along! He was super excited when he got to go down stairs and bring breakfast back up to the room! I just love how excited he gets over simple things! We were also so happy to get to have lunch wish Susie and Nelson and their family!! We also did a little shopping after! We miss them and love to be able to get together!! What a fun weekend!

Jenna will be 4 months on the 11th! I can hardly believe she is already so BIG! She is doing so great! She currently weighs 9lbs 4oz and 22.5 inches long! She is growing great and eating great also. She is now in 3 month clothing and moved up to size 1 diapers. She is the sweetest baby and very cuddly! She is trying so hard to hold her own head up, but just can't seem to quite yet. We work with a physical therapist once a month and he is helping so much. She still needs the oxygen when she is sleeping, but when she is awake she does really well without it. I can't wait to get rid of it all!!! The apnea monitor has not went off since October so that should be going bye bye soon- that is the most annoying monitor ever made! They are so loud and rarely go off for a good reason, most the time her leads fall off and that causes it to beep rather loudly!

We will find out more about her ears this month, they are going to repeat the ABR hearing test and then we will meet with the ENT a few days later. We really liked this doctor, and you could tell he cared and just wanted to get her hearing fixed.

We have had a great 4 months with this sweet little spirit in our home and have been truly blessed! I just love her!

Wow! What a wonderful Christmas season we have had! Gavin has been so into all the Christmas hoopla:) Jenna has just been along for the ride!!! This year we let ourselves spoil each other just a little bit more than last! We just loved watching how excited Gav was over everything, Christmas is definitely better with kids! We hope you all had a great season too!! We look forward to 2010.

At Sally's Christmas party Santa was able to make a short stop just to visit us! Gavin loved seeing him and telling him what he wanted for Christmas. Jenna even sat on Santa's lap, he was so cute to hold her and ask her what she wanted. Gavin chimed in and said she wanted a "Olly" Dolly!! What a fun party we had! There will be many more posts to come, my computer is just taking a very long time uploading my pictures!!

I think at this time of year everybody seems to reflect on the past year. I know I have been thinking alot about this year and everything that has happened and I feel so thankful and blessed by all that has happened this past year. It has been crazy since January, that is when I knew I was pregnant, but for some reason I didn't tell anybody until the end of March. Looking back I wonder if it was so I could just enjoy being pregnant, because two weeks after we announced our news things changed. We were on one crazy roller coaster ride from April to September. But I am honestly thankful for it all. The other day on my Facebook I posted that I was content with my life for the first time in a while, and I am, all of it. I dont look at anything that has happened this year as a negative. Usually when people talk to me they start of with "sorry this happened to you" and my immediate response is "I am not sorry, worse things happen." I truly believe that, because from my perspective nothing bad happened! In all reality there is not a medical answer to why Jenna is here, she is nothing short of a miracle! So I feel blessed to have a baby at all- yes she has some problems, but I can handle that! It makes me sick to think that 90% of women abort babies when they find out they have Down Syndrome. I look at Jenna and see straight to Heaven- she has a purpose on this earth and I plan on making sure she gets back to her Father in Heaven.

I have thought alot about the poem Footprints. I love the part where Jesus says that when there was only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you. I literally felt Him carrying me this last year, I have felt His hand on my shoulder pushing me through this. I am amazed by His loving power to raise us up when we feel like quiting or throwing in the towel. He gave me the best blessings of my life. When I pray at night I always thank Him for trusting me with two of his children to raise and bring back to him. I feel so honored to be a mother.

Gavin turned two in August, he is the best little boy! He has so much love in him and loves to share it! He has found a LOVE for Mickey Mouse and Handy Manny. He loves these two characters so much. The other day he was in the kitchen building a house for Micky with Manny's tools. He is creative and bright and is learning new words everyday! Some that we have to tell him are for adults only:) He loves HOKE aka COKE! I didn't let him have pop until he was 18 mos or older, and now he loves it. Not sure if I helped start that addiction or not?? I love him so much I made him promise to take me to prom and also to marry me! He said yes to both!!

Kurt has been an amazing husband through such a crazy year. It was emotional anyway and then to add a pregnant woman to the mix!! I think there are special places in heaven for some men!! He is a great father and husband and I am thankful for him. I guess those 5 years of waiting for him to marry me were worth it!!!

I look forward to this next year and what it might bring our way, we are hoping for a trip to Disneyland! I look forward to Jenna's firsts! She is now a hefty 8.5 pounds and 22 in long. (Gavin was bigger and birth) I love having a family and watching Gavin and Jenna together and feel extremely blessed to have all that I do.

I hope you all have a great Christmas season!

He see's way too much!

Jenna never was able to catch on to nursing, so I have pumped religously since she was born every three hours! I try to turn a movie on for Gavin in the other room when I am pumping, but he is 2 and walks and moves when he wants! It never fails that he ends up coming in when I am pumping. You should see the grin he gets on his face! I am sure it is odd to see your mother doing that! So the other day while I was pumping this is what Gavin was doing! He got the extra set of cup things (cant remember their name) and put them up under his shirt and even tried plugging them into the machine!!! What a crazy kid!