Aging....

I have told my mother-in-law several times that I feel like the 9 months I was pregnant with Jenna and this year after, that I have aged 10 years. I feel like I look in the mirror and see extra lines that should not be there, dark circles under my eyes and a while ago my mother told me that I had a grey hair. Not fun, however, at the same time I feel stronger both mentally and physically, my faith has increased tenfold and the compassion I have learned is indescribable.

As I think about how I have changed with this whole experience the person that I think has changes so much is my little Gavin. I look at him and see a 16 year old in a 3 year olds body. He is not your typical 3 year old. I know that he has felt the changes that we have gone through and gone through some on his own. In a way he has been forced to grow up just a bit. He is talking so well and clear and he is such a big boy. He has so much compassion in that little heart of his that it brings me to tears sometimes. Just an example of how sweet he is to Jenna, everyday when she wakes up from her nap he says Mom I need to hug her and smooch her, then he makes sure to say I am so proud of you Jenna! He loves his sister so much and is always wanting to help and love on her. He knows that Jenna is different and we talk about it openly with him so that he understands. I just love him so much and I am so thankful for his understanding of this situation. I have to remind myself daily that he is only 3 and that it is okay if he makes a mess or spills his juice!


With this crazy world lately and things that have happened in my own ward, I feel very blessed to be a mother and to have these to very special spirits in my home.

Jenna turns 1

My sweet baby girl turns 1 today. And I am on the verge of tears! Not because I am sad that she will be one and is growing up, but because I feel so much emotion knowing that a year ago doctors didn't think she would even make it to birth. I know that God intervened in Jenna's life and allowed her to live. I will be forever thankful and in His debt. I truly feel like Jenna is my miracle.


The other night I had a tender moment with her. I was rocking her to sleep and I had just got finished singing the most beautiful and on pitch lullaby to her and the minute I stopped singing she started laughing. And not just a little laugh, it went on for some time! It was funny, but I found myself just crying and rocking her. I just was overwhelmed with the fact that with all she has been through here she was happy as can be laughing in my arms and about to turn 1. I found myself just saying thank you. Thank you God for giving me this angel.

This was the day Jenna was born. September 11, 2009 at 6:48 pm. She was 4 lbs 13 oz. and 17" long.




This was just a few days old, but it shows how small she was.




This is Jenna now. She is now 14 lbs and 28" long.



We love you Jenna and we our so happy you are part of our family.

Gavin is 3!

I really can't believe that Gavin turned 3 yesterday!! Where does the time go?? It seems like ever since Jenna was born, Gavin has just grown right up! All Gavin wanted for his birthday was the big Buzz in the box from Walmart! And that is exactly what he got! He was so cute when he went in the front room to open his presents, he kept saying "it must be a buzz mom." He is the most thankful kid I have ever met, and I am not just saying that cause he is mine, he thanked me for Buzz 30 different times yesterday. He tells me he loves me at least a dozen times a day or more! I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful son like Gavin!

Facts about Gavin

He is potty trained
He is very tall and weighs 36 pounds
He is a size 10 shoe!! Holy cow!
He loves his sister more than words can say. He calls her his Jenna Boo
He loves Toy Story, Mickey Mouse, Phineas and Ferb and against my will Spongebob
He just gave all his binkis to the binki monster
He is really a smart kid and is speaking so well (he was a late talker, we wondered)
He loves to go to Nursery
He can not love you to infinity and beyond because he simply does not have wings!

I love you Gavin to Infinity and Be-forever! (that is what he says because of the wing issue)

Jenna's 1st Surgery

On Wednesday we took Jenna to Primary Children's to have her eye surgery. It was a hard day for all of us! We had to have Jenna there at 7:30 am to check in to same day surgery. She had to fast the night before, so of course she was starving! I just love the doctor that did the surgery, he is so nice and great with Jenna. When you go there for surgery they have the doctor, anesthesiologist, and the nurse come and talk to you prior to surgery. They were all so kind. The anesthesiologist was the one that actually took Jenna into surgery. Talk about a hard moment! I had to hand my sweet little baby over to a complete stranger and trust that he would bring her back to me safe and sound. I knew she was in great hands, but it was still really hard!

We waited in the parent waiting room and about and an hour and a half later the doctor came in and told us that Jenna did great and that things looked really good. I was so happy! I was so worried about the anesthesia! They let me go back first to see her in recovery. The funniest thing happened on my way back. The nurse that takes you back walked me to her area and said this is Jenna's mom. The nurses told me that she had been really grumpy and they weren't sure what she needed. The younger nurse was setting down holding Jenna and I said to her " she is cuddly." Well the nurse that walked me back said in the most sincere voice, "oh dear, I think she is just precious." She thought that I said "she is ugly." We all about died laughing!! It takes laughter to get me through anything, so this was a great moment!

Jenna looked pretty beat up when I got to her, she had blood on her eye of course and then blood around her mouth from the breathing tube. It took us about 2 hours to get her calm enough to eat. They finally took out her IV and we were able to take her home! She has been doing really well, Thursday was a hard day and Saturday was hard. She has been eating and being more active each day. She is such a little fighter and I feel so proud to be her mother! I love this little miracle so much!

This was when she first came out of surgery


This is Jenna today 4 days after surgery

Jenna Update

People have asked about Jenna's hearing and what we have decided to do. I met with Dr. Park a few weeks ago about her ABR test and we decided that we are going to do Cochlear Implants. We have an appointment with the implant doctor on July 20th to find out more about the implants and to discuss how they would help Jenna, and hopefully soon after that they will do the surgery! After I made the appointment I got a little excited! It is just so amazing that technology has brought us this far, to be able to make a little girl go from hearing nothing to hearing everything! I think it is so amazing! God's hands just continue to touch Jenna's life.

Well, we have been back from Disneyland for two weeks now, and I still want to go back. We had SO much fun.

We stayed in Las Vegas one night on the way down and one on the way back. We stayed at Southpointe, it was an awesome hotel. I think I will stay there from now on when I go! We made a gambler out of Ryan by introducing him to Blackjack! Lets hope he takes after me and walks away and not like Kurt who has to be drug out!

We made it to Disneyland around 6pm on Sunday and decided to go into the park. That was the best time to go, we walked right onto everything! No lines, it was lots of fun!

The look on Gavin's face was just priceless the first morning we walked through the gates to Disneyland. He truly loved every minute of it. He kept saying "can we go on acation (vacation)" the whole drive down. We had to convince him that we were on vacation!

He got to meet all his heroes, Micky, Handy Manny, Pluto, Minnie and many many more! I had to take him to Goofy's Kitchen, the Asper family always took me there and I loved it. Gav was so into it, I was glad because it was a bit pricey! He got to see Minnie, Pluto, Goofy, Princess Aurora "Beauty", Mad Hatter, and Chip. Minnie even came and got him to go dance, Gav ate it up! He was so cute with her he danced the entire song hand in hand with Minnie Mouse! It was so worth the money. He was must of gotten tired though, we all were looking at a character and when we turned back to Gav we realized he fell asleep and his head fell right into his mac and cheese! He had quite the look on his face!

We spent 4 days in Disneyland and 1 day in California Adventure. Gav was able to do a lot in California Adventure. While Ry, Dad and Kurt went on the roller coaster, I took Gavin to the Bugs Life area and we went on all the rides he could do there. He loved it! He was actually tall enough to go on all the big rides too! Pretty impressive for a 2 year old! We went into Dinseyland around noon every day and didn't leave the park until it closed at midnight, mom would have stayed and slept if they would have let her! I think we hit all the rides at least once if not twice and spent more than we should have on frozen bananas, drinks and churros. I can't believe how much the food costs! Oh well, ya only get there every few years!

We loved the fireworks and Fantasmic. I just love Disney and the feeling you get when you are there, I turn into a 6 year old at heart, thanks Walt!

We took one day and went to Huntington Beach and had lots of fun there. Mom and Ryan were the only ones who got in the water, I prefer the sand at the beach not the water! Gav liked making sand castles and then knocking them over within seconds of their construction!

This vacation made me love being a mother just so much more. Seeing the excitement on Gavin's face was just so rewarding to me. He is such a wonderful little boy and growing up way to fast. Jenna was the perfect baby on this trip! She slept and ate and enjoyed one ride, It's a Small World. She loved the lights and bright colors. All of the characters would spend lots of time with her, we held up a lot of lines! She even enjoyed putting her feet in the sand at the beach.

After such a rough roller coaster of a year last year,this vacation was much needed and we enjoyed every minute of it!

Gavin is a....

BIG BOY!!

Gavin is officially potty trained! He decided about three weeks ago that he wanted to wear big boy underwear! He had two accidents the first day and after that we were good..well with pee anyway. He kept holding the other, but now if I read him a book he is great! He is getting more and more used to it everyday.

Gavin is 2 1/2 and huge. He is in the 95% for his height. He just keeps getting bigger and bigger. He is so observant lately, he wants to know EVERYTHING. He always says, "What is that called mom?", or "what does this do?" He knows all his colors, shapes and we are working on counting in order. He is also learning some sign language and doing really well with that. It amazes me how quick he catches onto things!

I just love this little boy to pieces, he is such a sweetheart! Today I asked him to do something and he told me "sure thing sweety!" I love you Gav!

(somewhat explicit picture to follow)